THE TRUTH ABOUT MYSELF
MY SUCCESSFUL LIFE WITH MY ADHD
The tools that I have learned have helped me to successfully integrate my personal life with my career, without that overwhelmingly dizzying, horribly all-consuming anxious feeling of incompetency, confusion, guilt (that is the worst,) and self-doubt. Yes, indeed it can be done! I have created myself anew in the process.
I now use tools to handle the internal overwhelm and manage the chaos. Through many years of hard work and sheer will power, I have turned my inner critic into my inner best friend. I live the successful ADHD life. Even with my busy family life, and the mess that is constantly being created, here is only ever one layer of mess in my home…
My brain hasn’t changed. I still live from one self-made crisis to the next, and they are many… I now use the tools I have learned to laugh at myself, and move on. Quickly.
No inner torment.
I have nothing to hide. I am who I am, inside and out. No cover ups, no facade, no running away from myself. No hiding my mistakes from others…
A client told me the following that really summarises the challenges that ADHD women face,
“I am sick of my life, sick of being me, sick of surviving from one crisis to the next, sick of having my identity wound up with being organised and running a home; sick of not being able to move forward in my life and do something with my life because I am always tidying up.”
DO YOU WANT CLARITY?
I see the confusion and overwhelmingly deep shame in the eyes of women wherever I go. You have so much to juggle. You need to look your best at all times. You need to be calm and focused at work, and meet those horribly pressuring project deadlines, on time. You need to think on your feet, all day long.
Then when you get home, you are bombarded with The Mess! The Chaos! The Laundry! The Clutter! You are plagued with indecision. Guilt is your constant companion. Your inner critic beats you mercilessly.
Are you sick of your life?
Are you sick of being you?
Are you always overwhelmed?
Do you feel like you are living your life on the edge of trouble all the time?
Do your moods swing from extremely high to extremely low? Do you think you may have bi-polar?
Do you want to change but you don’t know where to start?
Do you just want to run away?
To top it all off your ADHD child has acted out (again) and turned the house (and your inner world) upside down…again. You just want to curl up, and go to sleep for 6 months…Sounds familiar?
I know what you are thinking, that it is impossible to find that elusive inner peace when your work commitments and family duties (read laundry and household chores, oh they are such a drudge…) are pulling you to pieces.
My mission in this world is to empower you to embrace your many faceted roles and understand and celebrate who you really are.
I will show you how you can work smarter, not harder, and focus on what you really and truly want to do in your life.
I will show you how you can restore your relationship with your ADHD child, and your family members. Its so easy when you know how.
You will learn how to banish your guilt, and learn how to motivate yourself.
Find out more here.
You like what you have read? Contact me. send me a message via facebook or linkedin, (I check my facebook and linkedin page daily,) and start to live your ADHD success life.
WOMEN WITH ADHD – IT’S REAL
ADHD in the UK is seen as “the naughty boy syndrome.” ADHD in women almost doesn’t exist. Oh, but it is so real! The symptoms of ADHD in women differ greatly from the ADHD symptoms in men.
The truth is that more girls than boys have ADD. Girls with ADD tend to display fewer external symptoms. Their difficulties are often missed or mistaken for other conditions such as anxiety and/or depression. Caregivers mistakenly assume that their problems will lessen over time.
Girls with undiagnosed ADD will usually suffer from low self-esteem and mental health issues such as anxiety, depression and eating disorders. They are likely to suffer in school, in other social environments and in personal relationships well into their adult lives. Girls with ADD will often fall ‘under the radar’ as they are not physically disruptive. Many do not get diagnosed at all. These problems if untreated worsen over time.
Girls and women with ADHD are often tragically wrongly diagnosed with depression and anxiety instead of ADD/ADHD. These conditions may be present, however it is important to understand the ADD/ADHD is usually the dominant condition. In most cases the ADHD condition must be treated first. Mental health practitioners must fully investigate the subtle symptoms in girls. I have seen with my clients the tragic consequences of women not getting diagnosed early enough.
I hear variations of the same tragic story every day. My clients tell me that they have suffered from anxiety their entire lives. They have been on meds to manage their anxiety, with little change. Their doctors still tell them to take the meds… The meds are not the (whole) answer. Your brain is uniquely wired. You need specialist tools to support your brain.
If you are a women with ADHD please understand that the regular life tools will not work for you. You need specialist organising, and time management tools that are tailored to work with your ADHD brain.
Find out more about ADHD in my groundbreaking book here.
MY CAREER JOURNEY
I will be really honest with you. Contrary to what people may think setting up my organising business was the hardest thing I ever did. Being a pioneer is in my blood. I love it. And I hate it! The market does not understand what professional organising is, or the need for professional organising. The shame and stigma is the worst. A large part of my job is educating the public. This was not an easy thing to do.
Everywhere I went I got comments like,
“Do you really sort out people’s mess?”
“Are women not embarrassed to call you?”
“You really make a business out of this?”
I did not let these comments, and worse, set me back. Over the coming years I learned that the women who had given me the worst comments were those that really needed my help the most…
I soldiered on by myself, with almost no advice and guidance. As I was a pioneer in this field I couldn’t find the right mentor for my needs. It was tough beyond belief. The loneliness, self-doubt and self-recrimination was the worst. I made so many stupid mistakes simply due to lack of guidance.
I have since learned that successful people make the most mistakes, especially women like myself who had little guidance in setting up a business. 90% of businesses fail within the first year. It is a miracle that mine didn’t fold under.
I tell my children, that if they see someone succeeding, they need to know that the success is a result of hard work and many mistakes…
With all the terribly difficult challenges I had in establishing my business, in 2 short years my business went from having no clients to 8 clients (2 hour sessions) per week. I was working flat out. With my family commitments I realised that I would not be able to sustain this long-term. At the same time I kept meeting past clients on the street, and they were all thanking me and telling me that the organisation systems that we had set up together had stayed! I realised I was on to something here.
At the same time I had a realisation that most of my clients displayed similar patterns of behaviour and internal challenges. I read up about this and I realised I was looking at undiagnosed ADHD/ADD in women. I wanted to help my clients find their ADHD success. I looked further to help them. There was no training program in the UK, so I went further afield and discovered ADDCA, the ADD Coach Academy.
I signed up for training, and well, the rest is history. Sometime during the start of the program I realised the source of my inner chaos and overwhelm – undiagnosed ADHD. This was the epiphany that changed my life.
MY PERSONAL JOURNEY
I realised that getting organised was the root of my success. I searched high and low for the answers to my disorganised inner and outer chaos. I couldn’t find those answers anywhere. I read so many self-help books on decluttering and home organisation. They did not resonate with me, they actually made me feel worse.
One day I was reading a Jewish magazine, and I saw an advert for a professional organiser training program. I didn’t turn the page. My inner voice told me that even in my disorganised chaos, this is what I needed. I simply couldn’t explain it. I called up the company and impulsively signed up on the spot…(I lived with terrifying fear of the unknown for two months until the program started…) This 5 session basic program was the springboard for my life change.
I started working as a professional organiser in my local Jewish community in North Manchester in 2012. I was the very first trained Jewish professional organiser in the UK Jewish communities here.
THE ORGANISE PRO INNER CIRCLE
Through the ADHD coach training program I realised I had discovered a way to help disorganised women to live their dreams. I adapted the ADHD tools that I learned from my ADDCA coach training and further training through other programs.
I rebranded, created two separate businesses, The Organise Pro Inner Circle, and Focus with Faigy, ADHD coaching. As far as I know this is the only company in the UK that provides these two services side by side.
I realised that there was simply no way that I alone could help so many women. My inner voice told me that I had a duty and holy mission to clone my method and create a training program for my fellow Jewish women to become professional organisers. The main Jewish communities here in the UK are in Manchester and London.
I set up the first professional organiser training program in the Jewish community in the UK in 2016. The business strategies, even the organising fee structure and the organising tools were all tailored for the ADHD brain. My own difficult experiences with no support made me even more passionate about supporting women in business. I offered mentoring sessions with the training program, so I could support the trainees to establish their professional organising businesses with as much support as possible.
The feedback from the training was phenomenal. I realised I had struck gold. I realised that those terribly difficult years and the countless client experiences had turned me into the organising expert.
I adapted the program to cater to the needs of the national community in the UK. I created the Organise Pro Inner Circle in 2017, the only totally affordable professional organiser training program in the UK that openly addresses ADHD and executive function deficit. All tools and business strategies that you will learn are tailored to support your client’s ADHD deficits, and support you as you establish your professional organiser career.
Please understand that for your organising clients with ADHD, the regular decluttering and organising tools do not work. Since the ADHD decluttering and organising tools are so specialised, they will benefit all of your clients, even those without ADHD.
The training has gone international with women signing up from the USA.
ORGANISE YOUR HOME LIKE A PRO
I wanted to help as many women as I could. I wanted to make my tools affordable and reachable for as many women as possible. My expertise lies in being able to break down difficult concepts and make them super clear. In 2017 I bravely started to write my first book, called “Organise Your Home Like a Pro.” The entire book focuses on the science behind the clutter challenge and hands on tools how to part with clutter.
Over the next five years I plan to write a series of handbooks on different ADHD related topics. The tools will be clear, simple and focused.
I wrote this book to address the shame and stigma that often accompanies clutter. My clients have bravely faced their clutter and addressed their inner fears. It hasn’t been easy. I compiled my best decluttering tools in this slim and easy to read handbook.
In this book you will learn the science behind your clutter challenge and how to address this.This book will transform the way you view clutter forever.Have you tried many times to part with your clutter, but you just don’t know where to start?
Is your clutter preventing you from inviting friends and family over?
This book will show you how you can finally get to grips with your clutter.
You will learn the science behind your clutter challenge, you will learn the root causes of your clutter challenge and how to overcome it.
OWN YOUR ADHD – DISCOVER YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL
The idea for my second book, “Own Your ADHD – Discover Your True Potential” was born from a moment of intense frustration at the sheer ignorance about ADHD in the UK. I didn’t know it at the time, but I am the only ADHD coach in the UK to have written a book on ADHD so far.
I have lived with the challenges of ADHD overwhelm in in various forms for most of my life. I have had my dark times. I have searched long and hard for the answers. Searching for the right answers has been one of my most difficult life challenges. I believe that I have found the answers. I have created myself anew in the process. Where there was once darkness, frustration, and despair, now there is light, acceptance and hope. The organisation challenges are all still present, but I have learned to overcome them.
This book will show you how to harness your ADHD to help you reach your life goals. You will learn how to focus on your tasks and get more done in your life. You will learn how to manage your ADHD in a more balanced way.
This book demystifies your ADHD. Many chapters are accompanied with diagrams and charts to help you understand the topics. The ADHD facts are backed up by study sources. This book is packed full of practical and easy-to-implement ideas that will upgrade your life to the next level, whatever that means for you.
There is a handy detailed ADHD self-test and a strengths and challenges chart that will give you tools to understand yourself and empower your life.